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今日导读社交焦虑已经成为了全球最常见的心理疾病之一形成社交焦虑最根本的原因是因为我们害怕遭到拒绝——你对遭到拒绝的恐惧与你对自己的看法交织在了一起如果你相信你会被人拒绝，理由是你觉得你自身有一些缺点、不足或者性格缺陷。
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视频详情 向上滑动阅览Rejections unpleasant.被拒绝让人不开心And social anxiety tries to protect us from it.。
社交焦虑在保护我们不会再被拒绝But social anxiety becomes problematic when it begins to interfere with the life you want to live.。
但是如果社交焦虑开始影响你理想中的生活方式了，那它就有问题了And this happens when your fear of rejection becomes intertwined with your view of yourself.。
这种现象出现的前提是你对遭到拒绝的恐惧与你对自己的看法交织在了一起When you believe you will be rejected because you think you have some inherent flaw, deficiency or failing of character.。
如果你相信你会被人拒绝，理由是你觉得你自身有一些缺点、不足或者性格缺陷You were ghosted after that first date, and you believe its because you were not lovable or attractive enough.。
第一次约会以后人家跑了，但是你觉得是因为你不可爱，或者不够有吸引力You were turned down from your dream job, and you believe its because you were not intelligent or competent enough.。
你没有拿到梦寐以求的工作，但是你觉得是因为你不够聪明，或者不够有竞争力You were ousted from that friend group, and you believe its because you were not interesting or funny enough.。
你被一群朋友踢出群聊，但是你觉得是因为你没意思，或者不够搞笑Our fear of rejection is really a fear of being less than.我们对被拒绝的恐惧其实是对“达不到”的恐惧。
Less than we want to be, less than we think we should be or less than we believe society wants us to be.
达不到我们理想中的自己，达不到我们理应成为的自己，或者达不到社会想让我们成为的样子Now, over time, this belief system can develop into social anxiety disorder.。
发展了一段时间，这种思维会恶化成社交焦虑失协症When a person has social anxiety disorder, they become overly concerned about other people scrutinizing them, evaluating them harshly and ultimately rejecting them.。
有社交焦虑症的人会对别人端详他们、严厉批评他们、最终拒绝他们过分担心So much so that they begin to construct their lives around avoiding rejection.。
担心到他们的生活会绕着避免被拒绝的这一想法转Because if you can avoid being noticed by other people, then those people have fewer data points on which to reject you.。
因为如果你可以避免受到他人的注意，那么，那些人就更不容易找到拒绝你的点Now, social anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental illnesses in the world.。
社交焦虑症已经成为了全球最常见的心理疾病之一In the United States alone, more than 12 percent of Americans at some point in their lives will have diagnosable social anxiety disorder.。
单看美国，超过 12% 的美国人在人生的某个阶段中都出现过可诊断级别的社交焦虑症Thats roughly 40 million people.这大概有 4000 万人Now worldwide, the estimates are lower, theyre four percent, which in and of itself is interesting.。
全球来看，数值会小一些，为 4%，这个数字本身很有意思But based on current population estimates, four percent of the world is roughly 300 million people that will potentially have social anxiety disorder at some point in their lifetime.。
但是基于现有人口估计，世界人口的 4%，大约为 3亿人，都可能在人生的某个节点患上社交焦虑症And despite how prevalent it is, its widely misunderstood, widely misdiagnosed and often missed entirely.。
虽然这种疾病非常普遍，但是也普遍地遭到误解，普遍地遭到误诊，还总是会被完全漏诊This is because several myths about social anxiety pervade our culture.。
这是因为我们的文化中有许多关于社交焦虑的谣传The first myth is that people with social anxiety are happier alone.第一个流言为患有社交焦虑的人一个人待着会更开心。
The stereotype of someone with social anxiety as a recluse whod rather be hiding away alone in their bedroom than out interacting with the world.
这种刻板印象将社交焦虑患者默认为喜欢独处的人，宁可躲在自己的卧室里也不愿出去与社会互动And this is simply not true.这完全是不正确的In research conducted in my lab, we find that people with social anxiety disorder desire strong, healthy, intimate relationships to the same degree as those without mental illness.。
我的实验室做过这样的研究，表明患有社交焦虑的人需要坚实的、健康的、亲密的关系，与没有心理疾病的人相当And they do socialize, theyre not robotic aliens.他们确实会社交，他们不是外星机器人。
And when they socialize, they often enjoy doing so.而且当他们社交的时候，他们也会乐在其中In fact, when we ask people with social anxiety how happy they are, they report feeling happier when they are with other people than when theyre alone.。
实际上，我们问社交焦虑患者有多快乐，他们表示和别人待在一起会比自己一个人待着更快乐This is because not all social interactions are stressful.这是因为不是所有社交活动都是让人紧张的。
Maybe someone feels socially anxious with friends but not their romantic partner.也许有人和朋友在一起会感到社交焦虑，但是和爱人在一起就不会。
Or they feel anxious with strangers and acquaintances but not people like their neighbors or coworkers.
又或许他们在陌生人和认识的人面前会感到焦虑，但是在邻居或同事面前就不会So even though some interactions are stressful, people with social anxiety are not devoid of the basic desire for human connection.。
因此，就算有些互动让人焦虑，患有社交焦虑的人也不是全无对人际交往的基本需求的They just have trouble obtaining it in certain situations with certain people.。
他们只是很难在某些场合和某些人进行人际交往OK, so maybe then people with social anxiety do socialize, and when they do, they enjoy it. 。
好，也许患有社交焦虑的人确实会进行社交，他们社交的时候也享受其中But its with a small, tight-knit group of people. 但是，是和一小群关系密切的人And really, social anxiety is about avoiding the spotlight.。
而且说实在的，社交焦虑就是在避免受到关注And this is the second myth.以下是第二个流言Social anxiety is not necessarily about a fear of public performance.。
社交焦虑未必代表着害怕公开表现While this is true of some people, other people with social anxiety find performing in front of others less anxiety-provoking than smaller, more intimate conversations, like when they have to carry a conversation one on one.。
虽然有些人确实如此，但是也有一些社交焦虑患者发现在别人面前表现比起小规模的、更亲近的对话，比如一对一谈话，更不容易引起焦虑Many people with social anxiety excel in careers that are intertwined with social evaluation and social performance.。
很多社交焦虑症患者在涉及社会评估和社会表现的岗位上如鱼得水重点解析But social anxiety becomes problematic when it begins to interfere with the life you want to live. And this happens when your fear of rejection becomes intertwined with your view of yourself. When you believe you will be rejected because you think you have some
inherent flaw, deficiency or failing of character.但是如果社交焦虑开始影响你理想中的生活方式了，那它就有问题了这种现象出现的前提是你对遭到拒绝的恐惧与你对自己的看法交织在了一起。
如果你相信你会被人拒绝，理由是你觉得你自身有一些缺点、不足或者性格缺陷重点词汇短语：1. interfere 🇬🇧/ ˌɪntəˈfɪə(r) / 🇺🇸/ ˌɪntərˈfɪr /v.干涉，干扰；阻碍，妨害；（光或其他电磁波）相互作用，相互干扰
例句：She never allows her personal feelings to interfere with her work.她从不让她的个人感情妨碍工作He does not want to interfere in the internal affairs of another country.。
他不想干涉他国的内部事务Smoking and drinking interfere with your bodys ability to process oxygen.吸烟和喝酒妨碍身体对氧的吸收能力。
常见用法：interfere with 干扰，干涉；妨碍；乱动；与……抵触interfere in 干涉，干预同根词：interfering adj.干涉的；多管闲事的interference n.干扰，冲突；干涉
近义词辨析：▲interfere：常常指干涉或者妨碍他人（的事）例：Dont interfere in what doesnt concern you.不要管与自己无关的事▲meddle：在指不必要的、无正当理由的或非必需的介入时，语气较强。
例：Theyre resentful that outsiders presume to meddle in their affairs.他们对外人擅自干预他们的事务怨恨不已▲tamper：通过造成未经请求的、不受欢迎、经常为毁坏性的变化或试图通过不恰当的方式影响他人来进行干涉。
例：Who are they to tamper with the rules of the game?他们凭什么擅自修改比赛规则？2. deficiency / dɪˈfɪʃ(ə)nsi /n.缺乏，不足；缺陷，瑕疵；赤字
例句：Vitamin deficiency in the diet can cause illness.饮食中缺乏维生素可能导致疾病They did blood tests on him for signs of vitamin deficiency.。
他们给他做了血检看是否有缺乏维生素的迹象常见用法：mental deficiency 心智缺陷nutrient deficiency 营养不足同根词：deficient adj.不足的；有缺陷的；不充分的。
deficit n.赤字；不足额
You were turned down from your dream job, and you believe its because you were not intelligent or competent
enough. You were ousted from that friend group, and you believe its because you were not interesting or funny enough.
你没有拿到梦寐以求的工作，但是你觉得是因为你不够聪明，或者不够有竞争力你被一群朋友踢出群聊，但是你觉得是因为你没意思，或者不够搞笑重点词汇短语：1. competent 🇬🇧/ ˈkɒmpɪtənt / 🇺🇸/ ˈkɑːmpɪtənt /。
adj.能干的，能胜任的；合格的，过得去的；精神正常的，智力无缺陷的；有决定权的；有法定资格的例句：Make sure the firm is competent to carry out the work.
要确保这家公司有能力完成这项工作I had always considered myself a strong, competent woman.我曾一直以为自己是个坚强能干的女人He was a loyal, distinguished and very competent civil servant.。
他是一个忠诚、出色、很有能力的公务员常见用法：competent in 胜任的；有能力be competent for 胜任......同根词：competently adv.胜任地；适合地competence n.能力，胜任；权限。
competency n.能力；资格2. oust / aʊst /vt.罢免，撤职；淘汰；驱逐；取代例句：The Republicans may oust him in November.共和党人可能在11月罢免他。
The legislative body had voted to oust the countrys onetime rulers.立法机构已投票罢黜了该国以前的统治者们常见用法：oust somebody 罢免某人；迫使某人出局；淘汰某人。
oust of 剥夺
So even though some interactions are stressful, people with social anxiety are not devoid of the basic desire for human connection. They just have trouble
obtaining it in certain situations with certain people.因此，就算有些互动让人焦虑，患有社交焦虑的人也不是全无对人际交往的基本需求的他们只是很难在某些场合和某些人进行人际交往。
重点词汇短语：1. devoid / dɪˈvɔɪd /adj.缺乏，完全没有例句：The letter was devoid of warmth and feeling.这封信既无热情又无感情I have never looked on a face that was so devoid of feeling.。
我从未见过这样一张完全没有感情的脸常见用法：be devoid of 没有；缺乏的be devoid of professional sense 缺乏职业观念2.obtain / əbˈteɪn /v.（尤指通过艰难的过程）得到，获得
例句：He admitted conspiring to obtain property by deception.他承认曾密谋通过欺骗获取财产Can plants obtain adequate nourishment from such poor soil?。
土壤这样贫瘠，植物能获得足够的养分吗？Underage youths can obtain alcohol from their older friends.未到法定年龄的孩子可以从他们年长的朋友那里得到酒。
常见用法：obtain employment 就业，找到工作obtain information 获得信息obtain evidence 取证obtain indemnity 获得赔偿obtain feedback 获得反馈
近义词辨析：acquire：指的是获得某种技能、知识，而且获得后会长期持有例：He was the mastermind behind the plan to acquire the explosives.。
他是获取炸药计划的幕后操纵者obtain：较正式用词，着重通过巨大努力、要求而得到所需或盼望已久的东西例：He admitted conspiring to obtain property by deception.。
他承认曾密谋通过欺骗获取财产attain：指的是经过努力获得某物或者达成目标例：For us, its something that we may aspire to but can never attain.。
对我们来说，那是可望而不可即的。
While this is true of some people, other people with social anxiety find performing in front of others less anxiety-
provoking than smaller, more intimate conversations, like when they have to carry a conversation one on one. Many people with social anxiety
excel in careers that are intertwined with social evaluation and social performance.虽然有些人确实如此，但是也有一些社交焦虑患者发现在别人面前表现比起小规模的、更亲近的对话，比如一对一谈话，更不容易引起焦虑。
很多社交焦虑症患者在涉及社会评估和社会表现的岗位上如鱼得水重点词汇短语：1.provoke / prəˈvoʊk /v.激起，引起；激励，刺激；挑衅，激怒例句：His duty was to conciliate the people, not to provoke them.
他的任务是安抚这些人，而不是激怒他们The article was intended to provoke discussion.这篇文章旨在引发讨论Dairy products may provoke allergic reactions in some people.。
乳制品可能会引起某些人的过敏反应常见用法：provoke troubles 寻衅滋事provoke interests 激发兴趣同根词：provoking adj.刺激的；令人生气的，激怒人的provoked adj.被激怒的；受到挑衅的。
provocation n.挑衅；激怒；挑拨2.excel / ɪkˈsel /v.精通，擅长；超过，胜过例句：Academically he began to excel.他开始在学术上脱颖而出Artistic merit scholarships require that applicants excel in a given artistic area.。
艺术奖学金要求申请者在某一特定艺术领域有突出表现A good education can give you the tools to excel.一种优秀的教育模式能够为你提供超越他人的方法常见用法：excel in 在……方面胜过；在……方面很擅长
excel at 突出；擅长于同根词：excellently adv.极好地；优异地excellence n.优秀；美德；长处excellency n.阁下；优点，美德END记得设置“⭐星标”关注第一时间收到优质学习内容推送！
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